Monday, June 09, 2008

Crazy Neighbor Lady

I've gone over the edge. I've crossed the line into ... STAY OFF MY GRASS!

This home selling bit isn't easy. Always trying to put your best foot forward. I feel like I'm trying to get a date with every single person that either walks or drives by my house. And every tiny little weed stands out like a neon sign. DON'T CLIMB ON THE RAILING!

And there's an entire army at the ready to thwart my plans of ever moving away from this Nice Neighborhood. GET THAT SWORD OUT OF MY GARDEN! They are small, but organized. MY FLOWERS! GET AWAY FROM MY FLOWERS! It's too late, the irises are decimated. Just greenery now. (heavy sigh)

And the back yard isn't a safe zone anymore either. STOP CLIMBING THE FENCE! Even though it's mostly grass, the army has plans there, too. DON'T THROW MUD! If there is something that can be broken, it will be. Or at least they will try.

My kids call them their friends. But they are my enemy. If I am not vigilant, they will destroy me and all that I own here in my modest little home that is FOR SALE so DO NOT TOUCH!

2 comments:

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

we have one of those armies at my house too, thankfully though, I'm not trying to sell the house right now!

(The other day one friend of my 8 year old taught her about spitballs in my basement and thought he'd start calling her bi**h instead of by her name. You know, just flowed off his tongue better I guess.)

Patti said...

So far I've gotten at least one of them deported, and another one is temporarily confined as a POW.

Alas, the war rages on ...